by joanna
There aren’t many compliments in this journalism business, although there’s probably more in sports simply because parents like to see stories on their children. But really the only time you hear from readers is if you have done something wrong.
Sometimes I’ll talk to coaches about the latest complaint I hear, yet I always preface it by saying that I know they get it about a 1,000 times worse than I do. Very few compliments, way too many complaints. It’s then that I remind myself that my life isn’t all that bad.
I wonder sometimes if coaches can do anything right. Here they are giving way too much of their time for pennies on the dollar, driving kids to and from events or back home because their parents can’t do it. I’ve seen coaches making sure a kid has something to eat, driving across town to help a kid get to an appointment. Do they get thanks? Sometimes.
More often, they just hear complaints.
I know, parents love their kids, they want to see them succeed, they want them to feel good about themselves. But why berate the coach over such trivial things? What makes a parent feel that it’s OK to ream a coach over playing time? If not ream, is it still OK to even question it?
Too often parents are out there trying to protect their offspring — great, in a dangerous situation — but unless your child is in danger, is being abused, back off. Let them succeed, let them fail. That’s life. Why is it necessary to be vile to a coach or pull your kid out and move because you’re worried about playing time?
Yes, as I’ve mentioned, there are issues where abuse is occurring. That’s sad. It should stop. Parents should get involved.
But playing time isn’t a huge issue. I know I keep focusing on this, but I’m blown away by how many times coaches tell me they’re hearing complaints about this. I hear that it’s political at a certain school. And it makes me laugh. I know so many coaches, and I have not met one yet — especially in football and basketball — who’s burning desire is to lose. Seriously, coaches play the best kids, unless they break the rules. I think the only time where subjectivity comes into play is when coaches are looking at who to keep as the No. 12 player in basketball, for example. Maybe there’s a kid who works hard, has a great attitude and then there’s a kid who’s doing crappy in school and will be an eligibility issue or he’s just a little you know what. Who do they keep? The good kid, of course.
Parents need to back off, they do. Let your kids fight their battles, let them prove themselves on the field, let them figure out how to handle a difficult situation with a coach — it will help them later in life. Be there for guidance, be there for support, be there to encourage. Sadly, it’s at all levels. I have a 5-year-old playing soccer and there’s a father who is pressuring his kid to play and this kid does not want to be out there. The father is so hard on this kid. 5 years old! It sickens me. It really does.
Hey, I’ve been in a tough spot. As a senior in high school I was told by my volleyball coach that she was going to have a youth movement; she had too many seniors. She said I’d made the team, but I would never play, except maybe to serve. I found that unacceptable, I met with my parents, told them how I felt and then I told her. Should I have quit? Probably not. Of course she wanted to win and sure enough, she went with her seniors as the year went on. I probably would have played. But you know what? My parents stayed out of it. I handled it. I respect them to this day for that.
I do know exactly what kind of parent I’ll be, though. I have no intention of being like the vast majority that I see — screaming at the coach, yelling at their kid to get his head out of his behind, talking bad about their kids’ teammates, questioning every move the coach makes. I won’t be silent — Lord knows I love to talk during my son’s games already, telling him to hustle and telling him good job and way to go team. But I don’t criticize. Leave that to the coach.
I’m off my high horse, now. Your thoughts?